One of the issues that many men seem to have is understanding the word ‘no’. Or at least it is an issue when it is coming out of the mouth of a woman…
I am really careful to be clear when I turn people down because 1) I hate leading people on (because I know how it feels) and 2) if boundaries are crossed, I will have the receipts to show that I gave no consent (isn’t that sad that we have to have receipts in case of assault or harassment… smh). In any case, a lot of men continue to push and press because either they do not value the word ‘no’ or they don’t value the woman, herself.
Honestly, I’m convinced it is the latter…
In the situation of the featured text excerpt (oh yeah… there’s more), I repeatedly explained to this man that I had zero interest in any type of relationship other than that of a friendship. Despite this, he continually pushed his boundaries to the point where all communication between us has been terminated completely.
So why is it that men are unable to accept the “friend-zone”? Well, I think to understand this we should question why the term “friend-zone” exists? In my opinion, I feel it is because men have been taught to view women as sexual objects, not as peers. To that adage, it is clear that some men do not see value in a relationship with a woman unless there is a possibility of that relationship becoming romantic or sexual.
It was clear that the sender of that text knew that he was harassing me. Yet he persisted. And that is not okay. When a women (or man) says no, that is exactly what they mean. It does not mean ‘maybe” or ‘I need to think about it’. It means NO! And if you need more clarification, then that requires your own self-reflection. The other person OWES YOU NOTHING!!! And that includes mending your hurt feelings or giving you any type of closure.
If you are reading this and you disagree (or even agree) with anything I am saying, please take a moment to reflect on your thoughts and maybe discuss this idea with a friend. Once you have done so, feel free to comment with your own experiences and views of the word ‘no’.